A Prodigious Righhanded Idiosyncratic Laserarm Finds Optimal Occasion Lecturing Students

Prospects2Pros will often find the occasion to find out about those long gone prospects, those hotshots who never panned out. Some just weren’t good, while some were at the top of their game, but left for a certain reason.

I was fortunate enough over this Easter Weekend to get into contact with former Mets prospect Sidd Finch, who was once heralded as the fastest pitcher in baseball, who would have given Aroldis Chapman a run for his money. Mr. Finch, who has been retired from the game for 28 years, had spent them teaching the french horn to some musical prodigies, mostly the gifted Asian students who you constantly see at recitals with the tiger moms.

Mr. Finch had been scheduled for an interview on The Final Out, but unfortunately came down with a rather nasty bout of laryngitis. and not wanting to inconvenience me, had agreed to do a email interview. You’ll find the transcript right here.

Prospects2pros: First of all, it’s a real honor to interview you, Mr. Finch, I must say,

Sidd Finch: My pleasure, I’m glad that we could arrange this interview, and I am sorry that I caught this bout of laryngitis.

p2p: It’s not a problem. So anyway, let’s get to the questions: Why don’t you tell us how you came to be recognized as a top prospect at the time?

SF: Well, after graduating from Harvard University, I realized that I had no real aim in life. I could play the french horn, I had been brought into the field of archaeology by my late father. Bless his soul. I decided to go on a spiritual journey to Tibet to find myself.

p2p: So how did you come to possess your greatest pitch?

SF: I credit learning that pitch from the great poet-saint, Lama Milsarapa. He told me to hone my energy, to focus my mind, and to let go when I felt the full charge. Not too long afterward, I threw a 103 Miles per hour fastball.

p2p: 103? Just after learning from Lama Milsarapa? Wow. Ok, so eventually how fast coudl you throw it by the end of your training?

SF: I managed to get it to 160 Miles Per Hour, although in my mind, I felt like I was tossing a beach ball. Basically, it was effortless.

p2p: Right, so how exactly did you come to be found by the Mets?

SF: Well, it just so happened that I was going back to the States to apply for a teaching position at an elementary school, they were looking for a music teacher/wind ensemble leader. Frank Cashen (General Manager of the Mets at the time) was in the airport with me at the time. I had just finished a can of new coke, which turned out to not be so new after all, so I pitched it into the garbage. Cashen’s eyes widened, and soon afterward, he was introducing himself to me and letting me know that the Mets were looking for another rotation arm. I decided to come along, and the next thing I know, I’m on a plane bound for Florida, and driving with Cashen to Al Lang Field.

p2p: So how did Sports Illustrated come to find you?

SF: Well, some blabbermouth on the team, maybe Cashen, maybe one of the big league pitchers, they spilled the beans about me, and soon, I was throwing in front of a reporter for SI. I think his name was George Plimpton. Anyway, he wanted to talk to me, and soon afterward, I was giving an interview and explaining pretty much what I wanted to explain to you.

p2p: Plimpton made note in his article that you had a habit of pitching with one boot, and a backwards cap. Any reason why?

SF: Again, we go back to the Lama. He told me that aerodynamics would affect my speed, so he recommended that I pitch with my cap backwards and with one boot on.

p2p: Fascinating. Now unfortunately, you retired before you could reach the big leagues. Why was that?

SF: Well, Commissioner Ueberroth came down to see the spectacle, and soon afterwards approached me, saying that I needed to tone down my pitches and I also needed to adhere to the dress code. Which is something I find blatantly ridiculous. I mean, there were kickers in the National Football League who were barefoot, what problem was there with me going barefoot? Anyway, I flatly told him no, then informed Mets management that I wanted to retire to “play the French horn or golf or something.” It was a logical reason mind you.

p2p: Amazing. So afterwards what happened?

SF: I decided to be a music tutor. Mainly, I taught french horn to a bunch of gifted students, you know the Asian kids who are always in those national competitions. It made sense, considering I had gone to Asia to learn my craft, and so I thought I’d give back.

p2p: That’s interesting. Do you ever feel the itch to go back into baseball

SF: Oh no. I’m done with that. Sometimes, I’ll throw a few fastballs just for the heck of it, I’ve reached 135 at the maximum, so I know my skill level isn’t there anymore. I’m also not inclined to visit Citi Field or Port St. Lucie, I feel that with Shea Stadium and Al Lang Field deserted and demolished, there’s no magic left in that team for me to make an excuse to go.

p2p: That’s too bad.  Well, it was a pleasure interviewing you, I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, and a happy opening day.

SF: Same to you. Good luck with the website.

And there you have it. Sidd Finch game me an interview.

 

 

 

 

 

APRIL FOOLS, YA NUTBAGS!

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